the highest point of irrationality!

I once had a feeling that i am a very rational person. I thought that i can understand every thing around me and can give logical reasons for it. I had a notion that everyone can do the same, all you need is just an open mind and every thing becomes logically correct! And then i use to point fingers on irrational happenings around me like for example religious intolerance, caste system etc etc.

Now i know i was incorrect. There are moments in life which you just cant understand. Well you may understand but still cant accept. Mind sometimes becomes so biased that very simple things in life look so difficult to comprehend. Lets say for example our relationships. I have always faced difficulties in understanding them or if i understand them well, then in accepting them that way.

I will try to be more specific now. Let us consider a Love affair.

When you love a girl from deep down the heart, following things happen:

• You start playing missed call games
• You feel more complete and happy
  
• You wait for her to come online on Gtalk anxiously (sometimes till very late in the night) and suddenly when she comes online ... you miss your several heart beats
• You set your status messages to please her
  
• You check your email every few minutes with an expectation of having few loving words from her.
• Money no more remains an issue ... seeing/making her happy is all you need
• You post letters and postcards which you will otherwise never do
• You start spending more time in your room lost in dreams
• Family and friends who have helped you all your life becomes secondary
• You spend hours, days and months helping her on issues which will define her life
• You bunk classes, sleep at 5:30 am after a tiring day and getup at 7:30 am just to wish her Good Morning mademoiselle and do what not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And suddenly you realize that things are changing. One fine morning you have an email that the feelings are gone ... one fine morning you understand that she doesn't miss you anymore ... one fine morning you become a stranger for your life ...

And then slowly following things happen:

• You develop a strong bitterness for her because her memories gives you a lot of pain
• Every chat on Gtalk ends with either a fight or a fight ...
  
• You many times try to block her on Gtalk but despite of all your efforts you fail ...
• You keep getting glimpses of her in your mind which makes you feel even worse
  
• Your manhood requests you to move ahead and wants you to forget her
• Sometimes you really want to show her a hard _|_
• There are lots of good memories, but every time bitter ones take over
  
• You feel low all the time and your friends and family can point out that change in you
• Finally when you cannot find an answer to how and why all this happened to you, you give up and try to keep your mind busy in various other routines of life.
  
• And your heart still pains ...

Thats how a love affair is ... and for me ... it is the highest point of irrationality! I don't know why this all happens ... and even if it happens ... why it is so complex ... and difficult to accept it that way?

A feeling that moves this world is a feeling that cannot be defined.

Love :)
Karan